I Have Been Outsourced...Now What?

One "advantage" the Husband we looked forward to in our Caribbean life was having household help.  Many expats capitalize on the exchange rates or the simple effects of higher echelon lifestyles and employ a variety of "servicios."  I fought the idea all along, insisting that I didn't need any help, certainly didn't want anyone living with us and we should use the money for, oh, I don't know, perhaps one of the three college tuitions we have looming over our budget and will likely cost more arms and legs than we have.  Yet, here we are with a nanny/maid, gardener and pool cleaner.  We no longer wash the cars ourselves (in our defense, that is, in part, due to the frequent water shortage).  We use the equivalent of a convenience store delivery service for items forgotten in the shopping.

In a country where 40% of the population lives on less than USD$2 per day, we are happy to boost the economy just a bit (this leads to both laziness on our parts and a true economic contribution, albeit small).  I must admit that I am not sad to leave the mop and Scrubbing Bubbles behind.  And, although I am used to keeping multiple kiddos in tow during the various household errands and outings, it is liberating to leave one (or more!) child/ren at home with no prior planning.  If I do not have time to cook dinner or choose to do something else with that time, we still have a meal prepared for the evening.

Rough, I know...

With that said, the past three months have been rather challenging for me, personally.  Full-time help avails me with the freedom to focus on exactly what I have longed for...a piece of my former professional self returned.  In theory, anyway...

In reality, it has smacked my ego from one side to the other...and back again.

I have been outsourced.

I "manage" the household, now in a more literal sense than ever.  But, as evidenced by my continued complaint of too few hours in the day, I am, apparently, not as efficient of a manager as I once thought.

Ego hit #2.

So, what to do with this new-found freedom?  Well, I spent a great deal of time re-examining my goals, my options, my dreams.  Hey, what better benefit is there for a trailing spouse?!  I now actually have some *paying* gigs!  (Although I'm embarrassed to admit how little payment they amount to!  Another challenge to the ego...)  And, now I have over-committed myself.  (grin)

I want to reclaim some part of my intelligent, intellectual, productive past life.  I want to be a good (better) mother.  I don't want to be so focused on positioning my career for the future that I overlook the honest blessings I have right now, constantly clamoring for my attention every minute and too-often a source of my frustration that I "don't have enough time for my things."

SO...Now begins the real test of my dedication to raising my young children, to remembering how to talk like a smart woman, to experiencing life in an advantaged way.  Now begins my management of having it all.

Disclaimer:  As the semi-professional activities I'm working on are currently not sufficient to redefine my career, there will surely be a continued self-(critical) analysis so stay tuned!  (grin)